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Have fun, but remember, these people got caught.

If you use any of these strategies and ideas , remember you didn't get them here. I Don't get Mad, get Even!am NOT advocating the use of any of these measures against anti-social neighbours, and most if not all of them are illegal in some way or another. Find out how Neighbours from Hell have affected us, here in Edinburgh, Scotland UK in "Our Story". Find out how others are being harassed in "Your Stories".

Post your story for others to read, they may be able to help with advice or just moral support, again details in "Your Stories". For help on a personal level, go to "Coping Personally". For advice on getting help on a legal basis, click on "Must Do!".

  • A farmer who was having problems with a neighbour from hell (NFH) drove to his house and stuck the end of the hose from a sewage tanker through the front door letter box and emptied the tank into the hall. Satisfaction Guaranteed!
  • A bit more subtle was the guy who posted a small carton of maggots and a rotten meat bone through the door of his NFH, who then returned from a Mallorcan holiday to a house infested with Bluebottles.
  • A similar one involved a couple of breeding mice and some initial food supplies through the letterbox.
  • Wagner? I'll give you Wagner!The neighbour who played VERY LOUD pop music all day, but was trumped when his long-suffering next door put the stereo speakers against the party dividing wall and set a CD of Wagner opera, the Ride of the Valkyrie, on continuous play before shooting off at two in the morning to his sisters house.
  • The council tenant who was fed up with his complaints about the NFH being ignored, so he gathered up all the trash, broken glass and bottles, cans and so on dumped in his garden by the NFH and took them along to the council offices where he deposited all the smelly stuff on the counter to make his point.
  • A new one for me, but this one is legal! The man and wife traipsing round the NFH house with a candle, a bell, and long white robes on, and making strange chalk marks on the pavement (sidewalk), and chanting mantras and so on. When the NFH asked what was going on, they were  told it was an old gypsy cursing ritual. NFH moved out pretty sharpish.

Have fun and dream of it! If you know of any other remedies, e-mail direct and we'll add them to the list for others to see and have a little light relief. Don't lower yourself to the level of the NFH by copying some of the above, or if you do, don't get caught!

Text originally prepared and © Mel Evans July 2000